Friday, March 16, 2007;
9:13 AM
hey..
To everyone.
well.the reasons for me not to be updating my blog like how i used to because i was too buzy, lazy and of course i was'nt in a mood to update.
As simple as that.
Now that i've so called have regained the mood back to actually update it.
Well here goes.
I got my result slip back for the first term.
yeah,i failed my mathematics.which suckz a lot to the fact that mathematics is my FAVOURITE subject.
I've only got one pathetic A1.for POA.
Shitty ain't it.well i guess i have too much of distractions during the time i had my test.And of course i can't blame it all on what had happened.I've got to say that it's particially my fault too.
Hrm..i can't denie to the fact that what happened recently didn't affect my studies.
And i thank god for making this problem occur during the "holidays".If it was to happen during school days, i don't think i would be able to think nor study.
Well, i guess all of you must be wondering what had actually happened isn't it?
LOL.
The only thing that hasn't made me feel happy or having me at my happiest mood is really2 hadi.
He made me feel as though i was really not needed in his life.
Well, kind of cocky to be saying this, i need him.I want the old him back.
The reason being, I LOVE HIM.
He ignored me for the whole week before my school holidays.
I blame myself for what had happened on the previous saturday.That was on.Last,last saturday.
Get what i mean right?
Anyway.
We were all going out as per normal.
Hadi,mizah,me.then met his friends.Like mun and whoever that was there.
Well, when we were all at peninsula, i bumped into a friend of mine.I have no idea why i bumped into so many of my school mates on that particular day.
So back to the story, bumped into my friend Fhamy.Yes Fhamy Esmeth.
Well, cut the story short of what happened then, after we've seated down.I told hadi fhamy is good looking.I thought he wouldn't take it seriously.But he did.And he blurted out words that made me kind of infury. To the fact that i was having my menses.So it was easy for me to let out my anger.So i tried to control.well.as stupid as i can be.i just walked away.told mizah to come along with me.yeah.i needed a smoke.
So went to buy ciggaretes.I didn't say anything to him then.There was where it all started from.
I BLAME MYSELF.
From there we were either turning on cold shoulder to each other,acting sarcastic to one another.And not forgetting trying to avoid each other too.
Well,i was trying to get close to him.I was devastated.At my lowest point.I was sad.I didn't want to talk to anyone about this other then yanti and mizah.yeah.thanks you ladies.I cried every waking hours when i'm alone.And i'll be awake when everyone else's asleep.
That week was a nightmare for me.Yet i present a smile to everyone else.To me there's no good reason to be moody towards the person who isn't in any wrong towards us.
Yerp.
Moving on.
My holidays.
I wanted to spend quality time with him.But with what had happened, there was no way we were to even have time for each other.
Then from what i know, he told me its just him.He was already fine with what happened. Since his probation was finishing, the other him was coming out.His other personality.His fucked up attitude.
Well, i couldn't take it anymore.
So i decided to meet him.He came down.
At first i thought the problem will never get solved.
To me he wasn't serious at all.Then we talked and it took him into deep thoughts.
I told him the decision is in his hands.I'll continue the relationship and he has to change.To the old him.And not have a split personality.
We head home after that.
He msged me afterwords.
Saying it was better if we were friends.So he won't be hurting me anymore.
Well, I never thought breaking up would ever be an option.But he said it..at that point of time.My mind was already calm because we already talked the matter out.
Yet i couldn't control my emotions.
I cried like hell. He called me up.
He felt really bad.
He regretted his actions but its the best way.
*I'M CURRENTLY HAVING TEARY EYES*
Well..things had to be this way.
I just thought of having a long term relationship because i've never been in one.
Hrmm..
I love him.
Really i do.
His the first person who really stole my heart away.
Things don't go the way it always do huh.
Well.the following day i met with yanti.I cried again.
Met mizah yesterdae.and had teary eyes.I know it would be along time for me to get over him.
But i don't think i could find anyone better then him.
His the best.
And i'm gonna win his heart back.
During this time.The song i've been listening to is.Tears.By comic Strip.yes.
Every time i listen to that song, it will remind me of him.
Oh well.....
Only time will tell....
I LOVE YOU LOTS HADI.
MY ONE AND ONLY NUTTY SKINHEAD.
tc.
tooOdLeesS~
♥somewhere
