Friday, April 25, 2008;
11:50 PM
i'm shouting my heart out.but no one hears me.
ever since ive been here myh entries arent happy anymore.theyre all depressing ones.
tts exactly hw i feel everydae when i wake up.
life's a bore.depressing.disappointing.and ive gt no one to turn to.
i feel lyk a loner.
I gt nothing to look forward to.
No one to impress..
No one cares.
No one bothers..
Living in fear even at home..
Tickle the wrong nerve everyone gets fired up.
When one's happy with another..
The other one gets forgotten.
No social life...
School friends only in school....
Awaiting and hoping i'll die soon to end all misery...
♥somewhere
Thursday, April 24, 2008;
1:19 PM
I don't recall the last time I laughed my heart out.
I don't recall the last time i had a blast til I didn't realise what the time was.
I don't recall the last time i felt free, where problems were away..
Probably last year?...
Life relates very much to trains and its tracks.
Fixed. Unless the tracks change,it shows the changes of our journey in life.
In many other ways we could look at it..
From an expect of the trains being fixed to its track. We go through a daily routine in life.
In another way, when we're in the train, we observe the world surrounding us as we're watching not being part of it. Then we start to realise how life is..our lifes that is..
Well that's life, how about death?
From what i learn..it relates very much to each other even though both means the total opposite to each other.
Many people they cry when someone dies. Probably they'll miss them.
Some feel sad because they didn't get to spend much time when the ones who die.
But many others are sad and feel pity about the way the dead dies..
When actually we shouldn't be..
because we should think of how our lives was not the way we die.
The way we die is all destined by god.
My life.Disappointment.
My life.Saddening.
Haiz.
I made a mistake about my friends.
Hey guys, thankyou about for still remembering. I mean those who do okay?
I really appreciate it.
Take care.
izni.
♥somewhere
Sunday, April 06, 2008;
9:18 PM
i'm gona start bloggin again now.
it's the only wat i can let out my emotions.
im currently not in THE very best mood.
oh thanks to people around me.
you tickled the wrong nerve to allow the wrong impulses to get 2 my brain mates.
bloody macaroni.!
Holidays are coming.
i wana go 2 singapore just for a quick holiday dad didnt allow me to.
well i didnt really bother about it first.but mum kept on talking bout it.much enough to get me indulged n think all about singapore.
argh.!
and bf.
true what he says about not wasting money and stuff.
but when i got no bloody mood 2 communicate to anyone.
and anyone who knows my true attitude if i dont wish to talk dont force me to.
i hate it.
i'd leave you alone if u need your own bloody precious quality time with yourself.
piss off mate!
i dont mean to be rude or hurt anybody in anyway but geess..
--------------------------
One thing of it is.
i've always been lazy during the weekends.
Now that the school holidays are coming soon.
it worries me if i wont be able to displine myself to sit and study for long hours like i used to..
damnit.i'll try.i'll try.
bummer....
i feel like shit the past few days.!
anything that makes me feel moody puts me right off from studying.
bloody boyfriend puts me off.
pushes me aside now..
every time lately.
becus why..
since im nt around anymore.he goes out with his friends alot .
i aint important.
his used to nt having me around anymore.
so yerps..fill his time with friends.
i don't mean he should stay home everyday.
but i don't mean he should go out every bloody day.
and forget all about me!
everytime i call.
he'll say like..............................i'll call ya back.
EVERY BLOODY TIME.
shit ol'
you dont even call me.unless we're fighting.and tt is if u bother to call.
shitzu.
so there's no point going back to singapore.
let's see what will make me want to go to singapore?
geee..what i miss?
isn't worth the flight ticket.!
what else friends?
bloody hell they don't even ask me for my bloody updates(but some do).
what happened to the rest.
if its the only reason then probably cuz of my band.
my passion 2 perform.but then again gee..
nothing.
bf...speechless**
if u tink i too over my head.well i am.!
beat it.!
i bet after bf reads this he aint talking to me.
but for sure.
he'll do it again n again.
oh not forgetting...
life here.
freaking laid back.
i can't wait for this year to end.
i'm not looking forward to visit singapore.
people there don't mean much to me.cuz i don't mean much to them.
i want to end this year n get TEE over and done with.
if i get into a uni.
i'd b happy enough.
that's wat i aim for.
sorry if i said anything offensive.
but seriously.
i observe.
from what i observe..
people put up a show at the beginning making you feel important.
make it a month or two.
then you're a ghost.
oh did i mention.
i just realised how much ive been giving in to people making them feel like proud of themselves while i be the one feeling like shit.
but its okay.
i always believe in retribution.
cheers to eevryone who reads this.
if u wish to leave nasty comments i'd reply to you as honest as i can.
because you're really honest 2 tell me indirectly you don't like me.
and to those people who act as though they care oh please stop it.it disgust me
to people who really do care thanks for your concern.
cheers.
=)
♥somewhere